I'll Be Wearing a White Shirt

This is a response to the question "How will I recognize you" from a blind date I was meeting for lunch last week. The average gal would find that a decent answer to the mystery. However, I've heard this about four or five times in the past few years and am not keen on it! In fact, next time I do I will run the other direction, very fast. Three of my funnier cases in point:

1. First, a few years back I somehow got intro'd to a guy that I wasn't sure of at first, but thought it couldn't hurt, I'll just meet him for coffee. When I asked how I'd recognize him at Starbucks he said "I'll be wearing a white shirt, green jacket, and gray beret tastefully speckled with white cat hair." I think his personality was speckled with...uh nothing, he didn't even own a TV and offended me more than once given I worked in television advertising (sorry, we all need to make a living). We ended up having NOTHING in common and his "white shirt" did indeed, have cat hair all over it. Achoo (I'm allergic)!

2. A few years ago was when a very good friend's mother set me up and had us all over for a nice dinner (she's a fantastic cook!). In this instance I didn't have to "recognize" the guy but he was wearing a white shirt - the filthiest, dirt-stained, ill-fitting one I've ever seen). I didn't mind that he was a truck driver, had different opinions or that he was wearing jeans. It was his dirty shirt that stood out to me. I mean come on, you know you're going for a nice dinner to meet a lady, do you have a cleaner one? One possibly meant for a date? Ok, so I didn't actually pick this match so didn't know anything about him but quickly found out that he had very few interests and was even uncomfortable in a small group. The dinner was great, the date not so much.

3. Fast forward to last week's lunch. I was meeting a guy at a nicer restaurant and so dressed up a bit myself (good dark jeans, blouse, blazer, heels) but should have known that when he said "I'll be wearing a white shirt" he really meant "I'll pick the only white shirt I own off the floor and wear it to meet my date." Again, dirty, stained, wrinkled, faded, and ill-fitting. Seriously, his personality matched - I ended up doing all the talking because he apparently didn't know how to use his voice - the depth of his emails did not end up matching the depth of his conversation . Boring! And I paid!

I actually posted this to my Facebook status that very same day and got teased endlessly... "What if he was wearing just a T-shirt?" "What if it was a great shirt but ripped jeans?" "Have you taken into account guys don't do much laundry?" It does make me laugh (ha!), but in the end, I'm looking for a nice clean, respsectable guy...

Seriously, I don't expect a perfectly pressed and dry-cleaned white shirt and suit for a date, but I would expect some level of thought "I'm going to meet a nice woman, maybe I'll put some care into what I wear today." As it turns out, all of the guys (there are more than the three above) ended up with the most flat-lined personalities in all of Portland and in my opinion, a raggedy white shirt on a date shows lack of detail and self-respect.

Maybe the white shirt case studies are the perfect red flags for a blind date. Or maybe, they should have worn red shirts...